What Is Your “Real More”?

I was listening to a funny and interesting audio book called The Power of Joy by British doctor Robert Holden the other day, and it spurred me on to write today’s decluttering tip.

The book partly focuses on how happiness levels in the western world have changed over the last half-century or so. Holden talks about studies that compare people’s happiness today with that of the 1950s. Although we can’t deny that the world is better now in ways and there is material abundance all around us, it seems we feel less happy than our parents and grandparents did, and fewer of us feel very happy.

Are you surprised to hear that? If we are more materially prosperous, shouldn’t we naturally feel happier? Well, that’s what modern society would have us believe. It’s not the truth of it, of course. Recent research shows that as we get older we seek a simpler, more joyful life, and a recent aggregation of the 50 Ways to Happiness unsurprisingly included decluttering.

Holden throws out a few really interesting quotes. “You can’t have enough of what you didn’t want in the first place.” (Anne Valley Fox) and “You can’t have everything you want, where would you put it?” (Stephen Wright). He speaks about the “real more”, and I’d never heard it put that way before.

Most of us go through life believing we’ll be happy once we get hold of something – that one thing – and it’s often material. But the real more, whether physical or experiential, is what you really need and want. It’s the considered more that fills you up and truly makes you feel good. Whether it involves family, pets, nature, charity, sport, hobbies, travel, food, or physical possessions, it’s the more that you value. Not just a temporary high from a bit of flippant retail therapy, it doesn’t leave you feeling guilty and empty afterwards.

Like many people, I’ve been caught in that trap in the past where I convinced myself that everything would be great once I got hold of the next pair of jeans or lipstick. The magpie in me obsessed about the item until I got hold of it, but it only filled a hole temporarily, and it was never the real more.

The Real More

Although styling is part of my work and I love clothes, I don’t have that same interest in fashion any more. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy shopping, but it is what it is and I’m as happy leaving the shop with nothing as with something that makes my heart sing. These days I tend to value experiences more and I prefer to invest in a holiday, a nice meal out, a good book (like Holden’s) or a new essential oil. Anything that appeals to the senses!

Refining our load helps us to find our real more. When we take time to declutter and evaluate everything we own in terms of its suitability to our lifestyle and tastes, we can spot the real more shining through the clutter. Of course this mindset extends to selective shopping, because we’ve no business clearing the clutter if we don’t learn to shop with discernment too.

Whether it’s free of charge or you’re happily splashing your hard-earned cash, let your real more bring you happiness and lovely lasting memories!

So, what’s your real more? Please share your thoughts below!

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