A compliment is a funny old thing. A genuine, positive observation can break the ice, create rapport, promote likeability and give confidence.
Shyness, insecurity and even cultural norms often dictate how a compliment is given and received. It’s said the more content we feel in ourselves, the more likely we are to sincerely compliment others. We Irish are notoriously poor at accepting compliments. Embarrassment or modesty causes us to counter kindly words with throwaway comments, sometimes spoiling the effect of a well-intended remark.
The art of compliment-giving recommends that a compliment is specific, meaningful and avoids judgement. Be aware that a comparative compliment based on perceived change (e.g. ‘You look very slim in that top’, ‘Your hair looked great yesterday’) may backfire as the recipient takes on fresh insecurities in terms of past or current appearances or behaviours.
The effect of a genuine compliment can also be short-lived, however, and some days a shower of compliments doesn’t even dampen the skin. The compliment-giver can’t always take responsibility for how their comments are received!
Keeping all that in mind, most of us love a compliment. What goes around comes around and so the best way to get a meaningful compliment is to give one. Research shows that making others feel good also makes you feel better
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